@kdfrawg some of it is lack of confidence/low self-esteem/blah blah, and for some people it's that they're extremely picky or not very interested in others (my p roblem, but not my only problem), and for others … well, i think the vast majority of those 'pick up artist' and 'nice guy' assholes are actually personality disordered - so may or may not have had an abusive childhood with poor or no role modelling from the adults around them. but it's not the only reason i don't think