@kdfrawg but I guess to follow on from that, the trans people and partners who are happily together (some of whom hooked up after figuring out gender identity, others with partners who could hack it) didn't describe things being that complicated or difficult, to the point where they couldn't easily describe to me how they met people. Like "it just happened and it was cool". Which I'd dismiss as an oddity but I think about half or more of the (predominantly young??) trans people are happily and stably partnered. So then I'm back to "Well is it then primarily my personality traits like being scared of relationships?". I don't know the answer.
// @indigo